Sometimes You Win Some, Sometimes You Don’t

Sometimes you win some…sometimes you get jack shit.

That’s life right?  We’re not always recognized for our hard work, determination and perseverance.  Nonetheless, I let my boys know that they have to work harder, stand out brighter, and demonstrate consistency.  Because you know what?  It’s not enough to be smart or astute in one or multiple subjects…no, that’s not what schools or education teaches us, or our children.  What matters is that you get straight A’s whether you understood the material or not, whether you are passionate about the material or even give a shit about it.  That’s the reality.

Let me rewind here so you can understand where I’m coming from.

Last night was my 8th graders promotion and award ceremony (i.e. mini graduation).  Now, my son is extremely bright (and I have some test score to prove it cuz he’s in gifted classes as a result of it).  But of all the subjects, his favorite ones are science and history, with history being number 1.

So his history teacher goes up to the podium to announce bronze, silver and gold winners and, lo and behold, all three awards go to the girls who get straight A’s.  My son was really expecting an award for history.  As I’m sitting there I get a text from him (he’s sitting about ten rows in front of me with his peers) saying, “I really wanted to win the award for Davis…those girls don’t do anything in class, they all hate history.”  So I tell him it’s ok, and try to turn it into a joke by telling him, “He’s a sexist anyways…only likes the girls.”  He replies, “I guess.”

Science awards are then announced and I think the same three girls won.  “again with all the girls” he texts me.  All I could say was, “yup.”

But there was one more class that I figured for sure he would get an award.

My son is a musician.  He began playing violin in 4th grade through 5th.  The summer between 5th and 6th grade he taught himself how to play the guitar and in 6th he joined orchestra and played bass viola and took acoustic guitar.  In the meantime he partnered up with a good friend and they started a band performing at school and at other venues.  Throughout 7th and 8th grade my son has been in the school band ensemble performing on guitar, bass and drums (all self-taught).  Ok, I know, I probably sound like I’m bragging now….OH WELL!!  I told you he was gifted. LOL!

Anyways, his music teacher goes up to the podium and starts describing pretty much everything I just wrote and of course my heart is pumping hard, and I’m nudging my husband saying, “it’s Christian, it’s christian” and I’m getting my camera ready to take a picture when suddenly he says, “and he’s even recorded a cd”….”ok, it’s not Christian, it’s Anthony” (his friend who he started the band with; by the way the band was Empty Presence and you can check them out on YouTube; keep in mind the vids are from 2 years ago).

I get a text from Chris: “………anthony………..”  It’s really amazing how millennial children have learned how to communicate their emotions via text.  A few minutes later: “Can we go?”

At the time I didn’t realize it, and it wasn’t until we were heading home that he admitted that he was really upset about the whole thing and had started to tear up which is why he wanted to leave.  He was really disappointed and bummed out.

So what was the difference

between Anthony and my son…well truth be told, Anthony was just always on top of shit, always anticipated the music teacher’s needs, and was always only focused on music (no girlfriends distracting him like my son has). But I have to say I was pretty sad myself and I was left wondering why he didn’t give out silver and bronze like the other subjects?

That, however, raises an interesting question as well as a lesson for me to teach my son.  Does 2nd and 3rd place really matter?  Truth? Fuck no. No one cares about 2nd and 3rd place winners because NO ONE EVER REMEMBERS 2nd and 3rd place losers!

So…while I don’t want my son kissing any teachers ass for an award, I do want him to learn to take initiative and to anticipate situations and opportunities.  As for not winning an award in history or science, I explained to him that consistency and discipline is as important as possessing knowledge and if he wants to be acknowledged for the knowledge he possesses he needs to share that knowledge by informing and teaching others.  Knowledge does no one any good if you keep it to yourself.

Peace Out!

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