Trying to keep my sanity in a house full of manly ball-scratching, burping, farting, and raised toilet seats.
Trying to keep my sanity in a house full of manly ball-scratching, burping, farting, and raised toilet seats. 
Dick Sauce.
I'm sure you'll never look at sauce in a jar the same!
This is the kind of crap I’m privy to as the mother of two adolescent males and as the wife of an infantry combat vet. The invention of Dick Sauce. Is there anyone out there that can relate to my misery?
But let me start from the beginning.
The scenario: We are in my car. My hubby is driving, my 14 year old is in the back... 
Just when I was starting to feel pretty good about myself and my “mothering” capabilities, alas, I am bitch slapped back to reality.
The notion that one of your children could be a mean spirited individual or a bully is a devastating thought. After all, what does that say about you? But worse then that, is the shock of learning that your child, the one who is generous and charming, attentive... 
I have to say that I am very fortunate to have such great communication with my 14 year old son. Although at times, I do question his openness with me and wish he wouldn’t tell me certain gross manly moments, and I’m referring specifically to those that occur with the body (if you have or have had adolescent boys then you know what I’m talking about…but if not perhaps I’ll... 
According to Wikipedia a chauffeur is “a person employed to drive a passenger motor vehicle, especially a luxury vehicle such as a large sedan or limousine. Originally such drivers were always personal servants of the vehicle owner, but now in many cases specialist chauffeur service companies, or individual drivers provide both driver and vehicle for hire.”
Well, my luxury vehicle... 
When I saw the previews for Karate Kid I just about jumped out of my seat with excitement! I LOVED those movies! And of course Daniel LaRusso wasn’t too bad either…But there was something about that movie that stuck with you as a young teen…aside from the “wax on, wax off” line!
But for some reason, I can’t help but to feel, it’s about damn time they highlight a... 
“Shake my hand like a man,” my husband tells all of my sons’ guy friends when they shake his hand and it’s not exactly up to par. In other words, the handshake is too limp, too wimpy, too…..feminine-like.
If that is the case, my hubby then moves into a quick lesson in handshaking and from that point on expects each of those boys to shake his hand “like a man” the next time he sees them.
It... 
I’m writing this just as I hang up the phone with the counselor at my sons middle school.
“Hi, Mrs. Olivera, I am calling in reference to your son Christian. First let me just say that he is fine.”
Shouldn’t that be stated the other way around??? Fuck!! Talk about scaring the crap out of you. You already know that the call is going to be bad news!
Anyways, apparently my son went... 
“Grab your balls and pull her to the side and explain to her your side of the story.”
That was the text message I sent to my 11 year old (albeit he was about three feet in front of me, but surrounded by his friends, I was not going to embarrass him). It was the day of his promotion ceremony to 6th grade and we had linked up with some other moms and their children at the bowling alley for some... 
My journey into motherhood began when I was 17 years old. Today, I am the mother of two teen boys, 15 and 13, and I am one of the only moms "blogging" about raising teen boys. On this blog, which I like to call a "blogory", I share my candid, poignant, sometimes humorous, but always real, short stories about my stumbles through parenthood as a young mother raising two teen boys while coping with living in a house full of testosterone. My parenting philosophy revolves around honest, no holds barred communication, where no topic is off limits, mixed with an enormous sense of humor. Peace Out! -Natasha Olivera
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