Mom, You Wanna Give Me Some Girl Advice?

I have to say that I am very fortunate to have such great communication with my 14 year old son.  Although at times, I do question his openness with me and wish he wouldn’t tell me certain gross manly moments, and I’m referring specifically to those that occur with the body (if you have or have had adolescent boys then you know what I’m talking about…but if not perhaps I’ll enlighten you some other day).  So while most 14 year old’s don’t want to be seen with their parents, never mind their mothers, and keep to themselves (unless it’s to dish out a hormonal attitude), my 14 year old has no problem opening up to me and spilling his guts.

I will never forget the day  I received a chat message from him while I was out of the country and he expressed to me that he had had a wonderful day.  When I asked him why he texted back saying that he and his girlfriend had kissed for the first time (yes on the mouth and with the tongue).  Needless to say, I was surprised.  First because he felt compelled to tell me and second because I wasn’t sure how comfortable I was with the fact that he had made out for the first time and I wasn’t there.  It also didn’t help that my hubby was making remarks about how he probably got to do a little more than making out.  Now, whether or not he tells me about the first time his hands make their way up a shirt, or even when he loses his virginity, only time will tell.  Quite frankly, though, , I’m not sure I’m gonna wanna know!

So the other afternoon when my son asked me if I wanted to give him girl advice, I wasn’t particularly surprised.  With that said, I stopped folding laundry (any excuse to not have to do it is fine by me) and sat next to him on the couch and gave him my full attention.  Turns out that he feels like he is giving more of himself to his relationship with his girlfriend than she is.

Now, while I’m not particularly fond of him being in a “serious relationship” with a girl at this point in his life, I don’t care to prohibit it either, although I’m sure many of you might think the contrary.   What I do try to do with these kinds of conversations though, is guide them towards one that is more about relationships in general, rather than it being about him and his girlfriend specifically.  In this case it was about the level of commitment that each party gives in a relationship, whether it be a friendship, a business relationship or two lovers and how at some point in that relationship, someone always feels like they are giving more than the other.  With that in mind it is then necessary to determine that if that is the case, then one has to make a decision to either deal with it and accept it as is, confront the other person and hope for a change, or walk away and not allow for oneself to be taken advantage of or made the fool.

I try not to pester too much and didn’t bother to inquire what my son had done to resolve the problem, but a few days later he posted on his Facebook status: “I didn’t take my mothers advice today, no wonder I got hurt. Time to start listening to your elders♥ I love you mom”

Are you choking up?  Well, I sure as hell was!

Anyways, it’s rare moments like these when I can sit back and take a deep sigh of relief and say, “wow, I think I’m actually doing something right!”  Because regardless of the fact that I may have had my son at 18, I don’t think there is a single parent out there, no matter what age they had their children, that doesn’t question themselves everyday and wonder if they are doing right by their children.  And if you don’t….well then there’s something wrong with you!

Peace Out!

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