Trying to keep my sanity in a house full of manly ball-scratching, burping, farting, and raised toilet seats.
Trying to keep my sanity in a house full of manly ball-scratching, burping, farting, and raised toilet seats. 
Re-turd 1 text messages Re-turd 2 with his home address. 
Re-turd 2 “copies” the address and punches it into his dad’s gps.
GPS tells dad where to go.
Dad follows directions on GPS like a good dad should do.
20 minutes later dad arrives at the final destination.
“Tell him to come outside,” dad says to re-turd 2.
Re-turd 2 calls Re-turd 1.
“Yo, come outside.”
“I am outside re-turd.”
“Well, I don’t see you re-turd.”
“Where the BLEEP is this BLEEPING KID?!” Dad yells at Re-turd 2 as he drives around the parking lot waiting for Re-turd 1 to make his grand appearance.
“Yo, is that your dad yelling?”
“Yeah,” Re-turd 2 replies quietly.
Dad looks at the address again.
The address says Building “O”.
Dad looks around.
“Hey Re-turd! Where the hell is Building “O” when there aren’t even any bleeping buildings here?! Where the hell did you make me go re-turd?”
Re-turd 2 shrugs his shoulders.
“Give me your phone,” dad tells Re-turd 2 as he yanks the phone out of his hand.
Dad looks at the address Re-turd 1 texted Re-turd 2 with. “You re-turd! This address is back by the house! You punched in the address wrong and made me go to BFE for nothing!”
“Oh,” says Re-turd 2. He takes his phone back and calls Re-turd 1 back, “Hey man, it’ll be like another half hour before I get there.”
Lesson for the day: Don’t trust your Re-turd for directions.
Peace Out!
-Natasha Olivera
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My journey into motherhood began when I was 17 years old. Today, I am the mother of two teen boys, 15 and 13, and I am one of the only moms "blogging" about raising teen boys. On this blog, which I like to call a "blogory", I share my candid, poignant, sometimes humorous, but always real, short stories about my stumbles through parenthood as a young mother raising two teen boys while coping with living in a house full of testosterone. My parenting philosophy revolves around honest, no holds barred communication, where no topic is off limits, mixed with an enormous sense of humor. Peace Out! -Natasha Olivera
© 2010-2013 2010 Me, My Guys, & My Stumbles Through Parenthood All Rights Reserved All Rights Reserved -- Copyright notice by Blog Copyright
It could also be because they are males – oops, did I say that? =P
FINALLY! Been waiting to read about re-turds for two weeks. Damn, re-turds!
OMG I just found your blog thru Spuds – and I about peed my pants. I have three teenage boys and a hubby – man are you PREACHING TO THE CHOIR! Thanks for the giggle!
This is nothing new…. First they cant pull over to get directions, then they get a fancy new “gizmo” and can’t use it properly… Lesson of the days, always have a woman around! It a known fact we have a better sense of direction!
Agreed!