For all those who say that teens are incapable of being in love because they are too young, too immature, too whatever…then you must have never had the pleasure of being in love when you were a teenager.
Why do parents tell their kids….”oh hunny it’s just puppy love, you have no idea what being in love is?” Or they talk about being in love as if it’s something that only happens to adults? Are you kidding me?
Teenage love, first teenage love to be more specific, is probably the most rawest, unconditional, untainted love that could exist. And noooooo, I’m not talking about “crushes” or “puppy love” like everyone likes to call them; I’m talking about real “I’m in love with you” and “I picture myself growing old with you” kind of love.
Oh, hold up, I bet you don’t think that a teenager is capable of seeing themselves with their first love as wrinkly old people? No, wait, you think teenagers just talk through their hormones right? Hey, that some teenagers swap boyfriends and girlfriends like they do their underwear and are only looking to score a base or even a homerun, yes, I don’t argue that, but there are exceptions.
Introducing my favorite teenage couple: Ana & Felipe.
Felipe is not my biological son, but has slowly leeched onto my heart and sealed the deal the day he started calling me mom; so he is now unofficially my adopted son.
Felipe and Ana started off as best friends. Both were repulsed by the idea of “love” and would vomit at the thought of it ever happening to them. But as love stories would go, love would find them. After being boyfriend and girlfriend for four blissful months school came to an end and they would receive devastating news. Ana would be going to Ecuador for the whole summer.
“What am I gonna do all summer without seeing her?” I remember him asking the last day of school as we sat at a table at On The Border with my son’s and a few friends. But the shimmering light at the end of a long, hot and lonely summer was that the new school year would find them together at the same high school (something I had a little role in making happen).
Unfortunately, that light would begin to dwindle as the situation of the distance between Ana and Felipe would go from bad to worse.
A few weeks after Ana had left to Ecuador Ana told Felipe that her parents were talking about keeping her in Ecuador an extra month and that she would miss the first month of school. Of course Felipe started freaking out because the high school they had been accepted to would drop her if she missed a month of school. Then she started telling him that her parents were going to enroll her in school over there and she would be starting classes soon.
But the worse was yet to come.
About a week later, Ana left the following message on Felipe’s Facebook wall:
felipe, c: or should i say. poopy♥ i love you. we get along sooo goooodd. when i met you i thought we where going to be the best of friends. we never fought. EVER. ever. it was like a perfect match. we where perfect for each other i guess. and i still think love is crap. and i will alwys think love is crap. but you tottaly made me cha…nge my mind on the whole “LOVE” buisness. remember when we where just friend we played runescape together, and the next day in school you called me by my runescape name? LAWLZ. i’ll never forget that. or the time i went to new york. and you where the one i stayed up till 4 talking to. and yet, we where still friends. it’s really hard for me to type this. but i’m going to miss you so much. don’t ever forget me love. i love you so much. ♥ and when that day comes. i promise you.. this time.. i’ll never let you go^_^
alright?alright. untill the day we meet again. see you in 2 years bro. i love you c: DON’TFORGETMEplease, ♥?
Ok, I’ll admit it, the message brought tears to my eyes. And of course, my poor Felipe was devastated and beside himself. In an attempt to comfort their fallen comrade, Felipe’s buddies were advising him to let go and move on. One afternoon he asked me for my opinion,
“What should I do ma?”
“What do you wanna do?”
“I don’t know.” He was obviously torn up and confused.
“Do whatever feels right babe,” I told him. “Don’t listen to what the guys are telling you. You do what you want.”
Yeah, I know you’re probably thinking: she’s thousands of miles away, she’s going to be gone for two years, shit, she may never come back, he just needs to move on, there’s no point in him sitting around and waiting, he’s young, a new love will come along. And I suppose it’s all true. But why destroy an innocent, untainted love with our own personal afflictions? Do we really do it to “protect” our loved ones or our children from being hurt, or do we do it because deep down we’re envious of the experience of love they’re having and the happiness brings?
Hmmm, I guess no one would want to believe that though, right?
Anyways, so far there is no fairy tale ending to this love story. As a matter of fact, things got even more twisted. About two weeks after that message, Felipe received a phone call from Ana’s mom. She was calling to inform him that Ana had fallen and hit her head so hard that she was experiencing memory loss. Talk about when it rains, it pours! Turns out Ana didn’t remember Felipe as her boyfriend and couldn’t believe that they were a couple. Her memories only allowed her to recall their friendship.
You can imagine how my poor Felipe felt.
At her mother’s request, Felipe spent endless hours talking to Ana on the phone reminding her of all the things that had happened over the last year and of all her friends. And for as hard as it was for him to know that his love no longer saw him as her love, he stayed patient and loyal.
As of today Ana has recuperated most of her memories and the two remain a couple. She’s been gone for nearly 7 weeks now, but they haven’t lost hope of seeing each other again soon! <3
On a personal note, I think there’s value in learning something from teenage love. We, as adults, will never experience that raw love ever again. That’s a one time shot, and every bad thing or good thing that comes from it will forever set the precedence for our future loves. I’ve heard parents say that they don’t let their teenagers have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or be in a relationship because they are too young and don’t understand the complexities of a relationship. But really, at what age are we “ready” to be in a relationship and at age do we really understand how to be or behave in a relationship or how to be a “good” partner? At 25? 30? 40? 50? From what I’ve seen, most adults aren’t ready according to their own definition, hence the high divorce rates.
I think we can learn from teenage love.
Teenage love can teach us to be more patient, to be more forgiving, to be more loving and understanding. But most importantly, I think it can teach us to just love and to enjoy loving.
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