Trying to keep my sanity in a house full of manly ball-scratching, burping, farting, and raised toilet seats.
Trying to keep my sanity in a house full of manly ball-scratching, burping, farting, and raised toilet seats. 
One afternoon, I met up with a colleague of mine for coffee. We’ve known each other for several years now and she’s aware that my husband is a combat vet. We casually discussed our children and whatever troubles they might have been giving us at the moment. On most fronts we agree when it comes to the raising of children, but I was soon to be disillusioned with how different we were on other fronts.
Somehow the conversation led to me telling her about my eldest son and his incessant need to grow up much sooner than necessary. I tend to liken him to an old man trapped in a child’s body. Sort of like the character Benjamin, in the movie “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” and how by the end of the movie he’s an old man trapped in a child’s body.
My son is currently in his first year of high school, yet is desperate to be in college already. Mentally, he is far beyond his years and as parents it’s quite difficult to deal with this type of child. If you have one, you know exactly what I’m talking about. On one hand you admire them and their voracious appetite for knowledge and experience, but on the other you wish you had some speed bumps to throw in front of them to force them to slow down just a bit.
“My son wants to join the military.”
“Oh, no.” she said to me, “But, he has so many options in life. He doesn’t need to join the military.”
She didn’t just say that, I thought to myself. So many options? Yeah, of course he has options. And that’s one of them. What the hell is she trying to say? That because he was born here in the states, because he has a mother with a graduate degree, because he can go to college, because he can get a “white-collar” job, that he doesn’t NEED to join the military?
Unfortunately, this is not unusual and I have been faced with this reaction on more than one occasion. I find it to be a typical reaction from those who have never known someone in the military or have never been exposed to the military aside from movies and the news. You can even find a “how-to” on convincing your kid not to join the military.
Frankly, I have a serious issue with this mentality and people who think that joining the military is only for people who are trying to get out of their small-town life, who can’t afford to go to college, or who a judge has given them the option to join the military over going to jail.
FYI PEOPLE, NOT EVERYONE JOINS THE MILITARY FOR THESE REASONS!
OH, and BTW…did you know that if you want to be an Officer you need a degree?? Yeah, and believe it or not, there’s actually many careers in the military that don’t include carrying an M16. As a matter of fact, every job in the civilian world, exists in the military. From doctors to lawyers and engineers.
Several months ago, one of my sons best friends was over our house hanging out. It was the end of his 8th grade year and we were discussing high school options and the classes he wanted to take. He said he wanted to join JROTC, but his mother had already told him there was no way in hell he was going to do that because she did not want her son brainwashed by the military. Wow. JRTOC teaches leadership skills and discipline, and this 14 year old would like to learn those skills. Apparently that’s a bad thing.
I understand that there are parents who don’t want their child to join the military, however, most of those reasons revolve around mythical stereotypes of military culture and a parents’ own fear for their child’s life, although those same parents don’t seem to have issue with their child wanting to be a cop or a firefighter. Is it because those are more admiral jobs? I don’t know. Honor and duty to your country I guess doesn’t cut it.
But, let’s set honor and duty to your country aside. Because the reality is, not everyone feels the same way about this issue. Particularly in a time where for the last 8 years, patriotism has dwindled substantially. Instead, let’s focus on opportunity, work ethic, pride, confidence, traveling the world, meeting different people, seeing different cultures and eating different foods, and of course, discipline.
Serving in the United States military, no matter what branch, is not a dead end road. As a matter of fact, it is the road to vast opportunities. But, just like any job, it depends on the individual to determine 
whether or not you open your eyes and see those opportunities and seize them when they cross your path. Can you acquire all those attributes I listed above from any other job? Sure you can. But if your kid wants to acquire those skills by serving in the military, it seems to me, that supporting them would be the best bet. The worse thing that can happen is that they walk into a recruiters office alone, and ignorantly and naively sign a contract.
Do some kids get duped by recruiters when they go running into a recruiters office and sign the contract simply because they are desperate to get out of their home or town? Yes. It happens. Because the reality is there are recruiters out there who will say whatever you or your kid wants to hear just to get them to sign on the dotted line. But that can be avoided by doing one’s homework. It’s just like buying a car folks. You are the buyer, you are in control, you can determine how that purchase goes down and negotiate what you want.
So does my kid have options. Hell yeah, he does.
My son’s are U.S. born citizens and that alone affords them more opportunities than most. They are the children of a mother who is a first-born generation Latina and the first generation female to graduate college. They are the son’s of a father who came to this country fleeing political persecution and who is considered a wetback by many in this country. Yet that “wetback” has served and continues to serve the U.S. Army and your right to call him that and he does so passionately and proudly. So, it’s all good.
My son is, as the public school has labeled him, “gifted”, taking AP and honors classes, and will be in dual enrollment this summer, before entering his sophomore year, taking college classes. English is his first language and is learning Spanish and French and intends to learn many more languages. He is a naturally gifted musician who taught himself to play the guitar, bass and drums. At 14 he is an entrepreneur, making and selling custom made leather bracelets and other crafts.
He has sooooo many opportunities available to him.
But at the end of the day, he wants to be a soldier, among the many other things he would like to do with his life.
I’m sure many of you are thinking, “He only wants to join the military because that’s what his father does and he wants to be like his dad.” Honestly, yes, I’m sure that has a lot to do with it. But if there is anyone I would want my sons to look up to and admire, it would have to be their father. Not Dwayne Wade or Justin Bieber or any other athlete or rock star like most kids do and, might I add, that most parents allow their kids to idolize.
I don’t know, in my opinion, who better to admire than their own father? You tell me.
Peace out!
-Natasha Olivera
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My journey into motherhood began when I was 17 years old. Today, I am the mother of two teen boys, 15 and 13, and I am one of the only moms "blogging" about raising teen boys. On this blog, which I like to call a "blogory", I share my candid, poignant, sometimes humorous, but always real, short stories about my stumbles through parenthood as a young mother raising two teen boys while coping with living in a house full of testosterone. My parenting philosophy revolves around honest, no holds barred communication, where no topic is off limits, mixed with an enormous sense of humor. Peace Out! -Natasha Olivera
© 2010-2012 2010 Me, My Guys, & My Stumbles Through Parenthood All Rights Reserved All Rights Reserved -- Copyright notice by Blog Copyright
Natasha I absolutely loves this post. You know as far as I went. I did college and then did the military and have to say now that I’m back in college I feel not only much more prepared, but confident in what I am and will go through in college. The military isn’t a way out. It’s a gateway to the world. It is a great way to gain many skills you would not normally have. I hate the way people act about the military. Especially the Latino community, but much like yourself I will continue to support the military and anyone who wants to join. Thanks for this. I hope your son, when the time comes, makes the right decision and is not deterred by others’ opinions. If I could I would still be in the USMC. Oorah and Semper Fi.
Speaking as the wife of a Veteran and having lived nine years of my life being surrounded by the brave men and women (and their equally dedicated family members) I can say that these men and women are the most giving, kind and generous people that you would ever hope to meet in life. It is no wonder that your son is looking at this as a possible avenue for his future. The men and women in our armed services know to how to seize the moment; they know not to take a single second for granted; they know to show others kindness because that may be the only kindness that person sees all day; they know how to stand up to people who need protection and they know how to give of themselves to the point where they have nothing left to give. They are an inspiration, and I too hope to raise my child to understands these values in life. That is a pretty good testament to the type of son that you and your husband have raised.
Thank you for the comment Pearl! <3
Semper Fi Christian!
Tasha, I have to say this is a very inspiring post. I completely agree with having your parents be your idols and to follow your dreams in anything you decide to do. The moment your parents do not support your ambitions, you lose hope in your dreams. Continue doing what you are doing with your parenting and teaching. You are amazing!!
Thanks Danny!!
Fantastic post Natasha!!! As a parent, I will undoubtedly have a hard time accepting their decision to join the military… but solely out of fear of losing them in the call of duty. Having said this, I find it to be an extremely honorable and admirable decision, and would support them wholeheartedly should it be their desire to do so.
Congratulations to both you and Christian. You’ve obviously done a fine job in raising him into a young man. Christian, you are a very mature, brave and responsible young man and I support you 100%. at the end of the day, you have to do what you feel is right in your heart. If I get in, it would be an honor to serve by your side.
God bless
Natasha,
This has to be one of my favorite blogs. This subject hits very close to home. As a former immigrant(legal), my family and I also fled Nicaragua because of the possibility of being killed by the Sandinista’s. When my brother joined the USMC, I felt a sense of pride and the desire to give back to this country that has afforded my family and I a better way of life. I served 9.5 years in the USAF and did two tours in Afghanistan. Was it scary, sure it was, but it was fulfilling to serve my country, to be an example for my daughters and to serve next to such a brave and diverse group of young men and women. I would not discourage Christian to join the service if that is what his calling is. The skills the military teaches you, the life lessons, the sacrifices, they mold you into a great asset to society.
I all of the sudden feel the urge to look for a lying recruiter and sign up again! Semper Fi!
My oldest daughter, yes daughter, plans to be in the Marines. She is in 7th grade this year and is in JCC {Junior Cadet Corp} and plans to continue through high school in ROTC. Her goal is to join the Marines and complete medical school to be a doctor, in hopes to be a surgeon for the military. All her ideas and her dreams. She’s had this dream for many many years and we don’t have anyone in our family that is military. She loves it. It is sad that people have the impression that you send a bad child off to the military or a child who struggles with school. The military may be a fix for some but it’s truthfully a career and dream for others.
Just stumbled across your blog, and I’m glad I did. I grew up in a town that the perception was that only the “screw-ups” joined the military, unless you were going to West Point. Until I met my husband. I too, became a young mom to two sons. I didn’t relate to many of the other wives, since they seemed to have no ambition other than to be a wife and a mom. Now I’m almost 32, my sons are 11 and 12 and atleast one of them will join the military. It has it’s pros and cons, but in this economy, it’s nice to know I don’t have to worry about my husband losing his job. He has had many great opportunities and some men are just born to lead. I think your son is probably one of those men. You are awesome for standing by him.
Great post. I would have no problem if my baby girl (or baby on the way) wanted to join up. Right after college I’d be happy to drive her to a recruiter if that is what she wanted to do.
I commend you and all those who commented on the “Military” being a very respectable and admirable avenue for a young adult to build their life. I am an army brat and greatly admired my father and all his fellow military personnel. It’s not an easy job, but we ALL enjoy the freedoms previous soldiers fought and died for. My son is 19 and just graduated High School. He is awaiting his ship date to go to basic training for the USCG. I can tell you first hand this was NOT his only choice. He is a very talented athlete and student. Upon graduation he received multiple offers to attend many institutions in our state on scholarship. He wants the adventure, the action and experience of life in the military. He wants to give something to his country, his community and I could not be any prouder. I am concerned for his well being and pray daily for his safety. But wouldn’t I feel that same way if he was pledging a fraternity and drinking every weekend with his friends like soooo many college students I know??? This stigma associated with joining the military is honestly repulsive to me. What most don not understand that the majority of kids wouldn’t be allowed in the military these days. National Security is not a joke especially when it comes to being allowed to serve in the military. I guess that is all I have to say, wish I could say it to all those marrow minded others out there…
Well said Tina!!
I just want to say thank you for supporting your child!! I am having such a hard time finding a “military” program that is free or cheap for my 14 year old son. He is starting his first year of high school during the fall of this year, and the ROTC is too expensive for me as a single mother….As a “devout” American…. I would think that there would be more free programs for any child who is supported by their parent, and has had some sort of “training” (like shooting my 357 over 100 times already)LOL!! And he wants 2 be a sniper for this country….. When he took his shots,,, he hit 96 out of 100 shots!! Pretty frikn good, and I know how gd good he is….. He’s been trained well by his uncle!!! BUT>>>>>>> I need help, he really wants to join the military,, can i let him sign up at 14 into some kind of program or does he have to wait til hes 18 so it will be free?? If there is some kind of free training,,,,, I would love to know where,, cuz it has to be close to us!!! I support my son,,, and want to let him do what he wants…. and what he wants is to be a sniper!!