Trying to keep my sanity in a house full of manly ball-scratching, burping, farting, and raised toilet seats.
Trying to keep my sanity in a house full of manly ball-scratching, burping, farting, and raised toilet seats. 
Re-turd 1 text messages Re-turd 2 with his home address.
Re-turd 2 “copies” the address and punches it into his dad’s gps.
GPS tells dad where to go.
Dad follows directions on GPS like a good dad should do.
20 minutes later dad arrives at the final destination.
“Tell him to come outside,” dad says to re-turd... 
Dick Sauce.
I'm sure you'll never look at sauce in a jar the same!
This is the kind of crap I’m privy to as the mother of two adolescent males and as the wife of an infantry combat vet. The invention of Dick Sauce. Is there anyone out there that can relate to my misery?
But let me start from the beginning.
The scenario: We are in my car. My hubby is driving, my 14 year old is in the back... 
When I saw the previews for Karate Kid I just about jumped out of my seat with excitement! I LOVED those movies! And of course Daniel LaRusso wasn’t too bad either…But there was something about that movie that stuck with you as a young teen…aside from the “wax on, wax off” line!
But for some reason, I can’t help but to feel, it’s about damn time they highlight a... 
“Shake my hand like a man,” my husband tells all of my sons’ guy friends when they shake his hand and it’s not exactly up to par. In other words, the handshake is too limp, too wimpy, too…..feminine-like.
If that is the case, my hubby then moves into a quick lesson in handshaking and from that point on expects each of those boys to shake his hand “like a man” the next time he sees them.
It... 
I’m writing this just as I hang up the phone with the counselor at my sons middle school.
“Hi, Mrs. Olivera, I am calling in reference to your son Christian. First let me just say that he is fine.”
Shouldn’t that be stated the other way around??? Fuck!! Talk about scaring the crap out of you. You already know that the call is going to be bad news!
Anyways, apparently my son went... 
I’m all for independent career women and equal rights, equal pay, glass ceiling breaking etc, etc. And I definitely think it’s time that the U.S. elected a woman for president…I mean shit, machista Latin American countries like Costa Rica and Nicaragua have done it for crying out loud!
But seriously, I think that women are beginning to encroach on the male species and through dominance... 
My journey into motherhood began when I was 17 years old. Today, I am the mother of two teen boys, 15 and 13, and I am one of the only moms "blogging" about raising teen boys. On this blog, which I like to call a "blogory", I share my candid, poignant, sometimes humorous, but always real, short stories about my stumbles through parenthood as a young mother raising two teen boys while coping with living in a house full of testosterone. My parenting philosophy revolves around honest, no holds barred communication, where no topic is off limits, mixed with an enormous sense of humor. Peace Out! -Natasha Olivera
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