Trying to keep my sanity in a house full of manly ball-scratching, burping, farting, and raised toilet seats.
Trying to keep my sanity in a house full of manly ball-scratching, burping, farting, and raised toilet seats. 
“I need Sylvan Learning or something like that.” My 14 year old said to me.
“What the heck for?”
“Cuz I must be retarded!”
This is my sons excuse for poor grades; that he must be retarded. Nice.
Mind you, he’s the one that started the conversation about his grades telling me how disappointed he is in himself. Now, why would you tell me what your grades are... 
Last week I took off with my mom, my baby brother and my godmother on a road trip from Miami to Manchester, New Hampshire. Unfortunately the reason for our trip was to spend time with my aunt (who was like a second mother to me) in her final hours of life. My aunt, who had also suffered and survived polio at a young age, was diagnosed with ALS (a.k.a Lou Gehrigs disease) almost 10 months ago.... 
I’m sure everyone is familiar with the saying “Bro’s before hoes”. And I’m sure many of you are nodding your head in agreement. But when do you (men, that is) decide that the woman is in fact not a hoe and, therefore, must come before the bro’s?
This past weekend my 12 year old son faced this challenging choice.
It was Friday and I was picking him up from school at... 
One afternoon, I met up with a colleague of mine for coffee. We’ve known each other for several years now and she’s aware that my husband is a combat vet. We casually discussed our children and whatever troubles they might have been giving us at the moment. On most fronts we agree when it comes to the raising of children, but I was soon to be disillusioned with how different we were on... 
If you’re a parent, or have been around kids and their parents, you know this question well. The infamous “why” is the epitome of curiosity and intrigue. The truth is though, it can also become extremely annoying.
As an observer to this situation you may have noticed parents all too easily dismiss their children with a quick, “just because sweety” answer. As a parent,... 
Honestly, Daniel looks pretty sexy here so I guess I can forgive him.
Maybe I will never understand it, but quiet frankly why the hell do I need to? Adjust your balls, scratch your balls, air your balls, whatever you want to do with your balls
WHEN I’M NOT LOOKING!
So as you know, I live in a house full of men and I swear, between the three of them, their hands are on their crotches more than I... 
Re-turd 1 text messages Re-turd 2 with his home address.
Re-turd 2 “copies” the address and punches it into his dad’s gps.
GPS tells dad where to go.
Dad follows directions on GPS like a good dad should do.
20 minutes later dad arrives at the final destination.
“Tell him to come outside,” dad says to re-turd... 
Dick Sauce.
I'm sure you'll never look at sauce in a jar the same!
This is the kind of crap I’m privy to as the mother of two adolescent males and as the wife of an infantry combat vet. The invention of Dick Sauce. Is there anyone out there that can relate to my misery?
But let me start from the beginning.
The scenario: We are in my car. My hubby is driving, my 14 year old is in the back... 
Just when I was starting to feel pretty good about myself and my “mothering” capabilities, alas, I am bitch slapped back to reality.
The notion that one of your children could be a mean spirited individual or a bully is a devastating thought. After all, what does that say about you? But worse then that, is the shock of learning that your child, the one who is generous and charming, attentive... 
I have to say that I am very fortunate to have such great communication with my 14 year old son. Although at times, I do question his openness with me and wish he wouldn’t tell me certain gross manly moments, and I’m referring specifically to those that occur with the body (if you have or have had adolescent boys then you know what I’m talking about…but if not perhaps I’ll... 
My journey into motherhood began when I was 17 years old. Today, I am the mother of two teen boys, 15 and 13, and I am one of the only moms "blogging" about raising teen boys. On this blog, which I like to call a "blogory", I share my candid, poignant, sometimes humorous, but always real, short stories about my stumbles through parenthood as a young mother raising two teen boys while coping with living in a house full of testosterone. My parenting philosophy revolves around honest, no holds barred communication, where no topic is off limits, mixed with an enormous sense of humor. Peace Out! -Natasha Olivera
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